Every month I receive these emails with the next “Call for Artists”. Last month I received one that really intrigued me. So, I started my application process.
I try not to procrastinate, especially when it comes to my business. But sometimes I’m that person whose eyes are bigger than their belly. So, I see things and I get super hype, then dive straight in only to get half way through and lose steam. Essentially, I have exhausted myself because I didn’t pace myself. Then I have sit a spell and decompress (let my food digest) so that the energy to finish … returns. For me, with that decompression I can quickly become distracted and set my eyes on something else that is smaller and more obtainable. What ends up happening is as I’m being refueled, I’m steadily pushing the gas and burning that same fuel I was supposed to be reserving to finish the first project. It’s a vicious cycle and I need to figure out a better way.
For the past month I’ve been on edge and struggling with this application. It’s the biggest thing I’ve done to date. This is running a close second to my letter to Buckingham Palace. Yah, click that link to read that story. I’ve let a couple of people in on what I was doing because I needed someone to talk through the scale of this and to chat with someone who was more analytical than me. There are just some things my brain can’t wrap itself around and one of those is math or anything involving measurement, which was something involved in the application regarding space. I’m a simple girl. When I have to break out the calculator or figure out how big something is, it’s pretty much over. My high school algebra and geometry teachers could testify to that 100%. Lol! Anyway, this is when knowing where your strengths lie is actually a strength within itself … so you pull in resources.
I had one last piece I needed to complete, an interest statement. This statement was to be up to 2000 characters including spaces. I mean like really, these limitations on what I can or need to say to fully express my why is a whole other level of stress. Then you couple that with some specific items they want you to speak to ... jeesh. It’s funny to other people, at least my non-creative friends because they’re like why are you so stressed, you got this. So, I just look at them and smile the casually walk away… because they really do not get it. That’s only part of the frustration. The other part is when they start to ask you a whole bunch of questions when you, yourself only have limited information and they end up being no help at all. So, I had to learn to not include them when dealing with the preparation of anything artistic. To be honest, my patience level is just not there. Then I learned to lean on my creative community/friends. They - get it. They – can sooth the savage beast. They – can help me work through the process. I’m thankful for them and their understanding.
I’m not quite ready to reveal what the application was for, but I pressed the submit button on Sunday and let me tell you …. what a relief? You’ll have to stay tuned to find out what happens next. Trust me, when I know … you will know. In the meantime, I’ll just keep praying, dreaming and acting on those dreams.